Happy St. Patrick’s Day folks!!
I thought today would be a good opportunity to share a few truths of mine since I moved to London, things which I think will apply to lots of my fellow countrymen and women who now reside in this concrete jungle we call “The Big Shmoke”
1.) The internal battle of wanting to say “bless you” after a stranger has sneezed but also not wanting to draw attention to yourself because DEAR GOD what if they make eye contact!?!!! So instead you say it 20 times in your head along with 3 Hail Marys and an Our Father – just incase!
2.) The first time you found the Irish Section in Sainsbury’s brought a tear to your eye (you then proceeded to stock pile Club Orange, Kimberley’s and Barry’s Tea because only the big Sainbury’s have Irish sections and you just weren’t convinced you’d ever make it back!).
3.) You will be expected to go home for the smallest of events, “sure you’re only across the pond!”. This, along with the fact that London is ferociously expensive, will result in you having NO MONEY EVER, but it’s fine, you have Netflix and who needs food anyway?
4.) The intense rage you will feel whenever tourists are moving like glaciers walking in front of you will be the signal that you officially have no Irish commuter chill left.
5.) At gatherings, you sniff out the only other Irish person in the room like a blood hound and after loudly making fun of people saying “do you know Niamh? I met her in Temple Bar one summer, you all know each other right?”, you will then quietly work out how you both do actually know Niamh.
6.) Upon returning to London after a trip home, you come to the realisation that your family home is actually a crack den, that the Superquinn sausages and pans of Brennans bread are the drugs and that your Mother is the dealer – you’re clothes don’t fit and you avoid the weighing scales for at least two weeks thereafter with the full knowledge that you’ll do it all again the next time you visit, because yum.
7.) You turn into Michael Collins and give an unsolicited history lesson whenever someone makes the suggestion that you’re British!!
8.) No matter how long you’re living in London, you will always say thank-you to the bus driver and they will always give you a weird look in return.
9.) When you’re asked for directions and you either don’t have the time or genuinely don’t have a clue – you thicken up your accent and pretend you’re a tourist too, they laugh, you laugh and then you run away feeling bad but relieved!
10.) Annually avoiding social media on the 17th March because you’re working a normal day whilst the whole of Ireland are in the throws of a country-wide party!
The lucky divils!